Well, I'm a guy so I don't have one, but if its anything like the inside of my nose, yes, vodka would burn.
i was drunk and our names rhymed...what was i supposed to do?
i knew he was a douchebag when his facebook activities were "ladeis," and "gettin crunk wit ladeis"
He's pole dancing on a heat lamp.
After waking up today, I would like to find the Jesus preachers on campus to ask for help in asking for forgiveness to God.
Sorry, can't come over. I have to spend time with my niece. Her Dad ignores her and I don't want her to have male attention issues like you.
You passed out and she managed to carry you all the way back to your dorm last night. I believe your testicles now her property.
im drunk. people are steering their children away from me. whatever it is that you called for, I assure you that I don't care. have a good night
dude. this chick is staring at me like i gave her brother herpes.
Well my door is unlocked for you, I'll be in the bathtub drinking a pre-mixed bottle of margarita until I forget the degree to which my life sucks.
Why is there a keg in our kitchen? I'm not complaining but why is there a keg in our kitchen?
I made friends with the delivery guy because he had beautiful dread locks and was a Zelda fan. He texted me after he left saying he wasn't trying to be creepy but we should be friends. We're hanging out tomorrow.
How does this kind of shit happen to you?!
a homeless man let us know that my friend was asleep in the bushes outside my house on main street. So just a small get together.
I AM STRANGELY AROUSED BY THIS UNEXPECTED DEVELOPMENT AND I AM COMPLETELY OK WITH THIS.
I dont even know what happened i just remember waking up with beer cans outlining my body...
Randomize
