and we just had intercourse last night so i'm exhausted, fucked up on adderol, emotionally broken and just pissed
Bitch is talking to much, howd u ever get her 2 shut up?
It's worth it.
How worth it?
Back door worth it
Last night you tried to pee on my bed...in the hallway...your room...and the showers. When I finally got you on the toilet you passed out.
If we went to a costume party as Batman and Robin I would go as Robin, that's how much you mean to me
Just fell asleep during a bikini wax. Thank god for day drinking.
You owe me $8 for the carwash I needed after you threw the salmon on my windshield.
I woke up in the closet and then I found my shirt in a bag of Doritos... how does that work out?
It felt like Party Santa dropped by and gave us two more 18-packs.
I'm high and reading a Wikipedia article on circumcision procedure. Help.
He showed me his night stand drawer...it has one too many sex things in it.
Exactly how many...is TOO many?
I'm afraid I might run into that fat chick that sucked on me in the hospital parking lot while her friend cried in the car next to us, but I may be willing to take that chance.
There's a kid in the back of the class drinking out of a flask. Like what is going on?
NOW HE'S DRINKING OUT OF A HANDLE. WHO IS THIS KID?
the kid next to me in math class is drawing gay porn. it's good, but that is beside the point
She fucked my eyebrows.. I've never had that done before.
Wait... Plucked, or Fucked?
Fucked, but I understand your need to clarify
When you called me I said did you make it home. You said yeah. Then you said you didn't know where you were. I said you were at home and you said but where. I said you are in the bathroom. Then you said oh, you're so smart lol
Randomize
