There's this guy beside me dancing with this girl with no panties on. When I looked at him he said he's babysitting his bestfriend's girlfriend since he can't come out.
What a good friend
I woke up covered in BBQ sauce. My hand had "you win" written on it. Do I celebrate?
while 90% of the female population goes to worship a fictional character tonight at midnight, I will be taking advantage of having the bars ALL TO MYSELF.
I walk in and my mom takes one look at me and just says, ".... Consequences"
he just told me he'd rather go to the pirates game. i know it was desperate but i said id give him roadhead if he let me come along.
found out the liquor store price matches. thus begins senior year of college
I had to download the flashlight app so I could finish taking a dump when the power went out.
I feel like a blind man at a water park. Every step has the potential to be either fatal or lead to accidental, but totally enjoyable, sex.
Wanna hang out? my DILF had to dip out for his sons little league game
I had sex with a Dutch boy on a rock last night. Happy graduation! x x
Was she always missing a tooth or am I just now noticing it?
What does that mean when you have a child masturbating in your dream? Is that weird?
Two cats fucking in the middle of the street. I sat there and watched in my car because I didn't want to cock block the male by honkin my horn.
Yes, he does have a boomerang dick. No matter how many times I throw it away, it keeps coming right back and winds up hitting me in the head.
I yelled at your uterus for you.
Randomize
