Blew in her face. She is Pissed. Yahtzee. As she brushes her teeth.
don't look now, but that cross eyed girl is staring at you... and me.
She's helping me study for the final by writing the vocab words all over her body.
Married on the beach in PCB while blackout drunk. Bonged beers on the sandbar for a bachelor party. They shotgunned beers at the end of the vows. How is spring break allowed to happen?
I feel so grown up. I just went to home depot to buy actual home improvement supplies instead of stuff to make a bong with.
i dont understand blimps. what would happen if they collided would they just bounce off or fall to the ground.
dude how high are you right now?
do you think jeeves would know? you do it. ask jeeves.
I want to see you in more than a weed delivering capacity
This chick had a microhand. Fucking, like, jerking off a baby carrot would make it look like corn.
i just tried to use a string cheese as a light source
Also topless tea is a thing that happens in our apartment. Ready yourself.
Is Oprah even human
get your sex hands out of my capn crunch
I was christened with Fireball shots by some guy at the bar. I'm practically Jesus now.
On a scale of 1 to hungover I’m definitely throwing up at the office today.
I am way to hungover for it to be Thursday.
Randomize
