i just told my boss to make it rain at camelot later...what is wrong with me?
He has jerked off in so many socks I am surprised he doesn't have athletes dick
some random kid just walked into our apartment with two cases... I don't know who he is but I like him
I don't think blacking out in class is a good idea. But I'm game
We name dropped you at the liquor store and got a ten percent discount!
I made mike pull over so I could lay in the grass. He made me get up cuz I looked dead and people were passing. It was like 6:30am.
i ran into my coworkers when i was walking home last night. i was shirtless. i think i gave my shirt to Walter. he's a cat.
im still drunk. birthday week begins.
bro your seconds weren't very sloppy last night, is everything ok?
btw im having a "its finally warm enough for a bbq in Toronto" party tonight. bring all the alcohol you have. and hamburger buns.
It is 5:00PM and I'm just now putting on underwear.
The moment when you go to plug in someone else's phone in your car and your lube is in the way. Don't mind that it's just my center console car lube. Normal.
For future reference, when he drunkenly screams "YOUR MOTHER SUCKS COCKS IN HELL," he means that he's about to throw up. Invest in a bucket.
Now swiping left on 23-year-olds with abs. Is this adulting?
I don't feel like that was meant as a compliment, but really still feels like one
I didn't expect the hobit to have that much sexual tension.
Randomize
