it wasnt like "sexy" or whatever. like...she was smiling just standing there butt ass naked
tasteful.
When the cops came you just told them you'd go to your time out corner.
I took the chef home. His dick even tasted like garlic
she just convinced the cop to buy us ice-cream sandwiches. best/worst stoned experience ever.
Ask him about a girl named Meg then give a disappointed and disapproving face.
Thanks to this cookie, I have now eaten something other than skittles today.
I have to date her. We need a place to stay when we go tailgating.
I'm actually not sure I need to run today, between the crazy monkey sex and breaking into my own house.
Well you finally jumped into that tree you've always wanted into and some girl gave you an 8.5. You were very happy.
Ain't no cockblock like hearing the word"HOOODOOORR!" shouted from the bedroom floor while in the middle of sex.
You're never gonna guess who's blood is on my shirt
Why do I feel like I really don't want to hear the end of this...
Wait you actually sent a text to your self saying “love you I miss you"?
You've discovered your super power: Your Vagina
So I was walking to the bathroom and some random dude threw up while walking towards me. He kept eye contact the entire time and didn't stop moving.
I don’t want to brag, but vows, morals and will power are no match for my blow job skills
Randomize
