I would drag my balls through a mile of broken glass to eat pudding out of her anus
you know you were way too high when you wake up next to a handwritten list of all the things you'd do for a Klondike bar
everyone who works at gamestop is basically destined to live with their parents for the rest of their lives... so i said no.
He just made a mudslide using rubinoff and swiss miss packets. This can't end well....
there was a trail of blood coming out of one of the bathroom stalls. thought of you
The empty keg landed on my head. It's a good thing we already got shitfaced or i'd be a vegetable and the humor would be completely lost.
I couldn't find my shirt this morning so I stole one from his eight year old sister. Slutted up my outfit quite a bit.
She got the hiccups while deep throating me. It was epic. Once in a lifetime experience.
They invented a new game at work. Its called guess if I'm baked, hungover, drunk, or some combination of the three. Its surprisingly very difficult..
drunk in woodshop so don't even say "I SAWWW THIS COMING." I know you're thinking it.
I'm smoking a bowl in my bathtub. I'm meant to be alone.
Just Peed in a cup for my country. Fighting the good fight.
Only in this town do you have a bridesmaid shortage due to pregnancies.
poll: am I friendzoned if he just called me brochacha? on one hand, he called me bro, but on the other, he used the a to make it feminine.
you poured beer in your mouth so you could be a beer pong cup for her to drink out of/make out with
Did it work?
Randomize
