Got a toothbrush?
out of nowhere you said let us see your boobs, then proceeded to pull my shirt down.
i gets down
Sooo sorry about that. And crying. And comparing my life to a duck
they named it eva bongoria. i had to hit it based on the name alone.
You beat him at the shot competition, and proceeded to rub it in while telling everyone to "ASK ME A MATH QUESTION!!!"
I threw up sweet potatoes. Worst thing to throw up ever. They came back mashed.
Drunk texting is the poetry of my life
You walked up to a random girl on the street and asked her for a bite of her pizza...
You told him about your cats? I told his friend to put his dick in my mouth, and you talked about cats!?
Your vagina felt like having sex with thanksgiving mashed potatoes. The best kind of mashed potatoes
Yes. Ice cream tacos are an important aspect in the bridge of friendship
Mom is so high she had to turn off the ceiling fan because it was going too fast and it freaked her out.
I was legit late to work one day Bc it took me so long to get a good nude
It's your last night of vacation right? Be the Oprah of dick. And you get a dick... and you get a dick, and you get a dick!!!
That awkward moment when you realize you've been secretly blackout dating someone for three months. Drunk me is in a committed relationship.
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