There's a woman at Starbucks that keeps pushing her stroller into me.
Punch her baby.
Adam has been drinking
Who has his phone
Adam does
The smartest thing I've heard Obama do is call Kayne West a jackass
ejected that DVD during the department meeting.. it was our porn from last night. I have a new nick-name at work.
the line at the liquor store is out the door, and students in line are high-fiving like crazy...i love college snow days
maybe it wasnt such a good idea to pregame our lease signing...
congratulations to me i think I am on the road to legitimate alcoholism
cool. same. I'm in class drinking
NOT OKAY
sorry for partying
THATS NOT PARTYING THATS DRINKING IN CLASS
I woke up to a hotel manager knocking on my car ( window was down) and asking if I was ok
I may hire someone just to sell my family the drugs they keep asking me for. It's cutting into my doing drugs time.
Somehow those two combined like captain planet and shit went haywire
Walt said he was feeding me so I wouldn't die. that's why there was pasta in my room
We were destined to go to rehab together
Only thig bad about that muscular chick from the gym is she liked it so rough I had to bust out a few wrestling moves from highschool
I am stoned at Disneyland with my little brother. It's gonna be a good day.
Tom just texted me he's Tindering from his hospital bed while they're running heart tests on him.
That's dedication to the game.
Randomize
