I wonder if u can grow weed on Framville and sell it to Mafia Wars?
There are two people having sex in one of the showers right now trying to silence their orgasm sounds and failing. Thank you coed bathrooms.
But I always wanted my obit to read "Died violently in casino orgy," not "Never woke up from rectal surgery."
Welll when you have a beer at 8:30 am you've already decided whaat kind of Sunday it ism
Her husband keeps getting drunk and making out with me. Good news is I found the strep carrier. Bad news is have strep again.
I was handcuffed to a girl for half-an-hour. And I'm still the only one in the house who didn't get laid.
He made me keep his swollen nut cold with frozen bags of peas while rubbing his tummy because he said I had no choice.
Gregs sitting in the living room in his underwear hitting the bong watching a rob schneider movie. His lack of fuck giving is inspirational
Trustme, don't ever look up when you're giving road head. It's awkward.
I'd recommend you leave that level of crazy to the experts. I'd start with an under appreciated soccer mom if I were you.
We used a snorkel as a funnel. Can you say desperate?
The EMT told me when I left the ER "I'd like to take off your pants again and inspect your package. Just not during a medical emergency..." We're hooking up tonight.
Points for getting a hot hook up after getting a shard of glass in your thigh. Almost makes it worth it.
He goes to Columbia so regardless of how he looks I should fuck him right?
someone stole my phone at the bar last night, naturally, it led to me waking up in the bartender’s bed
Whoever thought of breakup sex is my new best friend
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