Is it bad to mix sunny d with vodka if i dont have any real OJ?
I've mixd ketchup with vodka before and called it a bloody mary, so, no.
somebody snuck up and got me drunk
Have you ever noticed how boring internet porn is after you cum? I can't shut my computer fast enough.
Have $25 to my name but it's $2 pitchers. I have no choice but to go.
We found you on the floor drooling you kept saying over and over how you were double jointed.
I just stood still on a stair at the train station expecting it to go down automatically like an escalator... Today's going to be a good day
And I threw up 26 times yesterday. I actually think I threw up a spider too.
Rage-masturbating and then crying myself to sleep. Welcome to Wednesday.
Googling enemas while I get a pedicure ... My life in one senence
Somehow I woke up next to the bouncer who kicked us out of the bar last night...
I've got a bottle of water, a bag of salad greens, and a bottle of hot sauce. How stoned do you think I am?
Sorry about the confusion with the nudes last night that was rude
His penis is the only thing worth pursuing but all the baggage attached isn't.
I’m ready to be reckless and make stupid decisions, and I need you to support me in that.
My life is just a trash fire of work and Japanese video games now
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