Yea...but the guy who is beating me has a ponytail. So actually, I'm the winner here.
I just had to google "How do I get semen stains off of drywall." I'm relatively proud of this
coming from the girl bound and determined to pee in the snow
why would you restrict a girl of that
he's only going to be home for two days, his dick is going to be in me for the whole 48 hours, he doesnt have a choice.
You should've come to the party. It was like an identity parade of everyone you screwed last year.
I think I should advise against you hooking up with a guy that throws "the shocker" up in all of his pictures on facebook. Just sayin.
Yes and yes. Got taken to a Florida strip club. I desperately want to flood my eyes and ears with hand sanitizer right now.
He actually just looked up and said I'm gonna cum in my pants. and he did. no shame.
You kept trying to get the girl i brought home to hook up with you by enticing her with 12 baconnators you brought home
I'm not having the "why are your fucking my daughter" talk and the "your a drug addict" talk with your mom tonight.
The Easter dress struggle is real
Yep. Just had to pull mine off to puke.
Drunk Karaoke resulted in only 8 injuries this time, so there is some improvement.
I tried to flirt with him by saying "catholics are cool" and he handed me a cup of water so i called him jesus and thanked him for the wine
Yeah I blacked out in a wiener costume.... I think I'm ready to come home now.
So as you were leaving, you leaned on the table too much and 3 glasses slid and fell to the floor. You then looked at me and said "To be honest, glass isnt that expensive anyways" and stumbled out of the bar.
Randomize
