remember that time i ran away from the bar and passed out in a street cot?
neither do i
You really need to take down the pics of you and your boyfriend on facebook. It's becoming increasingly harder to jerk off while i'm Facebook stalking your pics at 2am.
Leave Me Alone
At least least me cry on your voice mail
taking shots each time the weatherman says Dont go out in this blizzard
Just traded a samurai sword for some drugs. It's gonna be one random ass night
And I was slip and sliding my life away on a giant tarp with tons of soap and bitches. Priorities man, priorities.
there's a liquor store near my therapist
i might give it a shot.
and let me tell you something, handcuffs are surprisingly uncomfortable when they arent being used in a sexual manner
But if you were going to pour a liquid on your naked body in fall its definitely pumpkin inspired something.
That's the fall semester you first snorted drugs off my ass I think
It's a "party harder or raise your standards" kind if night.
she's a nursing student, i didn't think vomit would freak her out so much
you puked ON HER
College is really paying off. I am gonna be a great teacher. I just made a grading sheet for weed. This shit got an A.
i'm bringing homemade birthday cake and homegrown weed. how awesome is this text?
How’s big weiner McGee?
I’m going to ask you one last time to call him Matt and he’s fine thank you very much
Randomize
