6:33 AM: I'm drunk at this time of morning.
Braces and a neon one piece. She looks 15.
i'm in love
I drunkenly sent a picture of my scrotum to the entire baseball team last night
We were driving to the party as he was giving me key bumps.. That's what I call team work
He wore a Medeval Times crown while I gave him a BJ
You left a trail of sequins from your dress incase we got lost
I should start riding the bus again so I can drink all day
We made out for three hours. Then she said she didn't sleep with redheads and left the party. So yes, I'm still drinking.
laying on floor next to bathroom with vent on to give myself comfort and remind me that im not going deaf. what did i smoke?
thanks for not telling him i named my trumpet after his dick
Two options. One, you listen while I freak out. Two, we have mediocre to awesome car sex and don't talk. Either way, I'll be there by 7
I'm curious as to what my outfit choices drunk me made for this weekend.
Don't worry, I'm sure your thrusting skills are on point.
I think he has some internal "man stuff" that keeps getting in the way.
Like alcoholism and general douchbagary.
Bring me your tired, your weary, your buffalo chicken dip
Randomize
