i just won an entire level on word mole with the word 'clitoris'
this episode of spongebob makes me wish crabby patties were real
I found him crying and drunk, in my closet holding a picture of Tyler Perry. He managed to say"he's just so many people"
the spit in my mouth is still 99% not mine.
I keep reminding myself that my vagina isn't a homeless shelter.
I asked if he wanted to sext and he just started sending me pictures of his beard.
I just rolled an Obama blunt and a Romney shame joint for tonight. Vote wisely.
Just got flashed by an entire bus of girls in school uniforms. We then had to wait beside each other at a light. It was awkward.
TOUCH YOURSELF. DO IT.
I don't think that's how you're supposed to sext
As if I wouldn't steal Nintendo brand "Mario is my HOMEBOY!" boxers when he gave me the entire drawer to choose from.
I got hella high today and freaked out about life and interest rates
i just took a huge shit in old main. i think my college bucketlist is finished.
I kinda forgave him after he laid next to me and rubbed my arm for four hours while I tripped balls.
Noooo no no no no. She scares me. She means business. She wore a diaper when we went to the bar.
not even sure this counts as hungover but like my body can't exist in reality today
Randomize
