I love you and miss you, which in no way dimishes how much I hate the person you turned out to be, but I still love and miss you.
Alcohol only hurts me because he loves me.
Best part is I totaly had to get into my dads car like I didn't have my pants off two minutes ago.
I just ate an adderall and jelly sandwich in front of my mom. Homework time!
P.S. I can't hear my feet
Go on vacation with her and forget to pack pants. I did that once and it worked like a charm.
I think the imperative here is that I literally knocked down a sorority house with the force of my dick.
buying my parents vodka for Christmas is like buying a normal person socks.
My blowjobs put them in a state of relaxation similar to that of getting hit with a tranquilizer. The fear comes after the sex.
The day i have a fb album titled " I have become a townie" you can shoot me in the foot and tell me to get my life together
Do u remember giving me permission to fuck ur dad and then getting super pissed at me when i said ew?
He bought the 12 pack of condoms. I take that as a sign of serious commitment.
Wound up hungover. Visiting 4 y/o nephew suggested cookies and milk and playing Kirby with him with the sound down. This kid is going places.
And then I remembered we banged to Beethoven & I was like you will never get this ass again
Its because she suspects I'm a frequent drug user, which I am, but I am going to make her feel like she is crazy for believing it.
Randomize
