Who said anything about talking that was a booty call
Haven't eaten in 11 hrs. I am gonna have so much material to talk about with anorexic girls now
Seriously, I'm delusional. Idk how these models even walk on the runway
i can't believe i haven't brushed my teeth. and i just kissed my grandma. I'm going to hell.
But you know it's love when you find brass knuckles in the same box he keeps his Naruto action figures.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she's walking around the room telling people she can make the room move with her mind and then she shakes her head really fast yelling 'see?!'
2 bagels in my tummy and my herpes on my mind
does drinking everclear count as brushing your teeth? because i think they are sterilized
you're the only person I know who would bring a water bottle of screwdriver to a wedding, and toast with it during the speech
right before he passed out he said "take care of your tender spirit"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She used to be a real nice person. Now she's just a dick sucking machine
I was greeting people at my door feeding them jello shots out of an ice cube tray with a spoon.
Nothing says Welcome to America than having the international house watch a sorority girl puke over the edge of the porch at 8am.
We could make it cute. Like "oh those two cute lesbians who are about five foot two who sell the cocaine down the street. You know the ones? With the Yorkies?"
I'm currently giving my drug dealer relationship advice. He's a nice guy and all but I'm really just hoping I get some free weed
I think I just saw my socks in the parking lot.. gonna keep walking
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