I'm thinking of having one or both of my boobs out. They're small but they're mighty.
can u get pink eye on your cock?
i dont care if i have to wear a pillow case, there will be an open bar at my wedding
3 girls crying in the bathroom at the bar. Its like a Christmas song
When I was in the bathroom and wiped with a paper towel I found in the trashcan, I realized that this might be the reason I have a yeast infection.
She went dumpster diving. Found flourescent light bulbs, carpet samples and $15. We got a bottle of Popov, played star wars and threatened random people with the carpet. Get on our level.
I like to keep a steady black out going for the holidays. I feel it makes me less cynical
I just want you to know that we eye fucked the shit out of someone who just got drafted
Uhh... I think I meant "Be proud, I'm taking shots before my public speaking test." "Coffee and vodka is not good" and "Also, I'm giving blood drunk."
Emergency nipple ring removal:vodka, tweezers, and vodka. Can you bring me a band-aid?
Dude, please tell me you know why there's a naked chick asleep outside my room.
Well in other news, my nipples are healing pretty well but next time I get drunk and decide to pierce something please for the love of god stop me!
I guess you know it was a good night when you find your ripped underwear in your pocket, and a nerf bullet falls out of your pant leg 😂😂
It's like his penis moved in and did some interior decorating without telling me first...
Say thank you and give him a blowjob.
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