Bigbird is at the bar Im at. whats her name
The Lord gave Farrah Fawcett 1 wish when she died. She wished that all children in the world would be safe! The Lord granted her wish and killed Michael Jackson.
our night together was a product of my beer goggles and jennifer aniston-like desperation.
she literally hasn't taken the mardi gras beads off in three days. she showered in them. TWICE.
And she was like "I wanted you all for myself, to love you, and treat you like gold."... See this is why I shouldn't fuck Italian chicks...
Jello bowls to the fucking face, that or ramen spiked with liq. Those are the only options in this house.
Is it possible to rally from a drunken seizure?
Youll thank me when youre dead an dont have a cat eating your face
Thats not real though. Slash there are other extenuating circumstances to lead me to believe dick is wanted
HOLY FUCK I SPELLED EXTENUATING RIGHT ON THE FIRST TRY. IM THE BEST DRUNK NA
I convinced a girl making out is a secret handshake
i don't know man... i just want to listen to John Lennon every time i finish fucking her. is this love?
I slept awesome next to you. You're like an electric blanket that I can have morning sex with.
Grandma's bordering on serious shit show territory at this point.
Can we just agree for a moment that semen in your sinuses is the fucking worst?
We lost you in the bar so we waited outside for you...next thing you know you kick open the doors and yell "I'M ALIVE"
Randomize
