I'm gonna get wrecked tn I might have to keep my phone at home cause I'm sure ill send you really weird txts
Omg Kevin Jonas is engaged!!!!!!
Omg really? To who. Gay marriage is only legal in like 3 states.
He keeps apologizing for not being able to get hard when he's drunk. We havent even left the club yet.
where does the pee come out of this thing
sexting on a treadmill. speed 9.0 beat that slut!
he sounded really stupid. it was like his puke had a stutter, too.
She looked at my cock with a kind of resigned disappointment.
After some trial and error I found soaking my balls in maple syurip helps ease the pain.
Just killed a snake in my bed! And by killed I mean hit repeatedly with my fist. And by snake I mean a lump in the covers. And I pissed my pants.
I wish university was like frosh week all the time and then they just give you a degree for surviving
Let's play "Guess What I Just Found In My Vagina?"
My knees are skinned from sitting on someone's face on concrete
Things that happen while I poop: I start dating someone
Just told my roommate about "analvice" and she is horrified and the Sound of Music is ruined.
tonight's safe word is brought to you by the phrase "Ahhhhhh"
Randomize
