Sooo i definitely have a major burn on my chin from kenny's ...stubble from making out for hours while coked up. Pure class.
I got so high that I decided to drive with my knees on the way home. Where am I going in life?
Nowhere
If I was doing exactly what I wanted right now I would be getting fucked on a jet ski while listening to "When Love Takes Over" by Kelly Rowland while eating french fries.
I have on cowboy boots and a ten gallon hat. I'd say I'm a little past tipsy
This girl is drinking wine and watching grey's anatomy in the library during finals week. I hate comm majors.
I couldn't be mad. She was crying because she fell bare ass into the rose bush trying to pee. So I held her up mid-stream and she peed on my feet. No big
He was in Alberta for less than a week and is already banned from 6 bars. I fear for his general well-being over there.
I don't even know where to begin....there's queso sauce and public hair stuck to everything
Babysitting for someone you accidently sent nudies to is so fucking awkward.
if any part of your body has ever entered my vagina you are fucking obligated to speak to me if i so desire
I have the relationship skills of Miley Cyrus and I could've said this was a bad idea
Let's go buy marshmallows and play chubby bunny until we feel alive again
2017 is gonna be explosive... Already watching fireworks out the window while shit my brains out. Happy Ew Year
Is it just me or is it like a girl gets married and all of a sudden she’s a “blogger”?
Like if I exploded right now there would be cum and fajitas everywhere.
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