I mean don't get me wrong, vaginas are terrifying, they look so sneaky with all their layers and secret compartments and trap doors
Just crushed a xanax into my chewing gum. Its gonna be a long, fucking up flight...
I'm surrounded by too many unhungover people.
yup. cregs moms pubic hair is still glued to the celing
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
when i was alone, his dick was there for me...
If I die tonight. Just know that chicken I made fuckin ruled. Recipe: Chicken with a shitload oF spice
I'd say I'd distract him, but I lose my psychic powers when guys get girlfriends. And by psychic powers I mean taking off my top.
We had sex in the church bell tower and somehow it still feels right.
No, dude...I agree it's great in theory but I promise you that 80 drunk 21 year old sorority girls together in one room for formal is one of the worst drama filled ideas ever. Ever.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think someone is dead in a car across the street
Scratch that, dude's getting a blow job
Sorry, I didn't know he was with you. The ongoing collapse of Trump has me horny as hell.
I feel like hooking up with you on my floor, sneaking out my window and jumping a fence is an effort that deserves a happy birthday.
I wear drunk well.
i'm growling thTa how much i wNn slwwwp.
save me some of whatever you're doing i'll be there in five.
Looking back, we probably shouldn't have chased alcohol with more alcohol
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