first i yelled "you cant get it up?" and then in the middle of it i opened a Corona
I wouldn't necessarily call it an addiction, more of a passion. I'm habitually passionate.
Well, what part of "I've heard she has crabs" didn't you take into consideration?
i dont care if i had to wear a dress to fuck her, she was super hot and i stand by my decision
just because she threw up on my junk doesnt mean i dont like asians anymore
We left the bar, went to a sex shop, bought penis shotglasses, went back to the bar and insisted that the bartender used them.
We found him in the neighbors shed using a bicycle as a blanket. We just left him there.
Pretty sure I humiliated the fuck out of myself last night after I was dared to attempt to give myself head. I hate vodka
Get the cougar, get the cougar, get the cougar. Act like an injured baby deer. She will either eat you alive or nurse you back to health either way its still sex.
Just ate a gummy bear I found in my sheets. So yeah, 2013 is SO gonna be my year.
That's the 3rd time in 6 months I woke up on the hallway floor using a towel as a blanket, no clue how I got there. At least back when I was still drinking I could blame something other than myself for that kind of shit.
You should go to AA meetings and warn people about the dangers of sobriety.
especially when i'm drunk. his dick might as well be made of cotton candy.
Just did body shot off a midget. Pretty good start.
I wanna riverboat gamble on your vaginal waters. Just sayin
burned my penis with a sauteed onion again.
Randomize
