she keeps The Day After Pill in her bra... there is a God.
i wish semen tasted like chocolate
We asked an illegal alien to buy us beer. He didn't even want a tip. I'm going to Washington to plead that case.
THERE ARE ENTIRELY TOO MANY HOT UNDERAGE GIRLS HERE FOR THIS TO REMAIN LEGAL.
Don't talk about his dick. That's mine. There's a copyright on it. Use with permission
your blue lips and tongue was their first indication you were probably underage
HEY THERE IS NO AGE LIMIT ON BLUE SLUSHIES
My therapist thinks I shld paint u something to show u my appreciation 4 ur friendship. 1) she must think I'm rite on the brink of no friends 2) this is real
I thought i lost my bra, but when i went back to help clean it was hanging up on the wall
Oh my god. A memory of last night just came to me. One of our neighbors joked about Thomas having a big dick and I just kept shaking my head profusely.
I guess I'll just chalk it up as a learning experience and a lot of great sex.
No amount of beer will make me feel better about this. It's time for Emergency Whisky
i swear i was one second from getting his number and then the shrooms kicked in
My New Year's resolution is to chill out on the group sex. At least with my friends anyway.
I think I'm dead. Also I think I stole $20 from a stripper.
You did. Then gave it to me.
They are in the bedroom next door. We might have a threesome idk. Jesus take the wheel.
GO. DO.
I am Jesus and I am taking the wheel.
Randomize
