I'd suck a dick for hot wings now. A metaphoric dick that is
I've been sucking dick for sushi for weeks now...hasn't worked yet :P
you just broke rule number 1. If you can't lift her up don't date her
I'm like 99% sure I made out with Kevin Spacey last night. Not good.
After he called me a "spirited little girl" I realized that I need to stop sleeping with guys more than ten years older than me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The bank teller laughed at me....I'm apparently that fucking hungover looking
All I wanted was my $85. Judgement free. But nooooo
I have too much respect and admiration for my dick to put it into a situation where he could possibly be killed
That dog was the best thing i ever touched
I need something for rope burns and an inner ear infection. Separate incidents, FYI..
You ever fart so hard while you are asleep that you wake up screaming?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I thanked him for the booty call offer but told him I'd rather just do it myself
Because sadly the idea of me having a girlfriend is crazy enough to be an April fools prank
Wtf is this place? I don't see any alcohol and I feel like we were supposed to bring our own strippers.
I love how u said nothing about the sidewalk sex but refused shower sex
You're going to love the baby's room.
I doubt it. I can't have sex there anymore. That severely limits the appeal of the room to me.
you asked how they got the microwave in the air. we had to explain three times that it was mounted there until you finally feel asleep
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