Spotted: jayne dropping her cigarettes in a puddle...then picking them back up and putting them in her pocket. If i ever get that desperate, stop talking to me
It's just like soggy cereal, but cancerous
just saw ex-bf. should he be more embarrassed to be a college dropout working at rite aid or should i be because i was buying newports and rembrant?
tie
I'll be waiting for you under the stairs with peanut butter and tequila ... Don't tell the neighbors
She looks like an uncircumcised penis in a hat.
I'm sorry i'm just too high to handle anything besides pirates of the caribbean right now.
He tried peeing out of the sunroof.
But you have work tomorrow. And a whore to pick up. And a dinner to eat. And a vagina to slaughter. Your day is full!
I appreciate the concept of vaginal slaughtering.
With me living this close to Mexico now, Tequila is just a geographical choice at this point if nothing else.
You should fuck with them and beat off in the cup and then walk out an be like, "This was a sperm donation right?"
I sleep texted my mom and asked her for a condom last night
I want to show up to tomorrow's study group looking like I got hit by a train. A train made of dicks.
I'm eating cereal out of a cocktail shaker. That kind of blizzard.
THERE IS A DOG IN THE CLUB. I repeat a dog in the club. I might have laid down and petted it..I have no shame.
Who the fuck is "nick from the beach last year"
No idea hahaha...why?
He just texted me.. Should I ask where I met him?
I have more important things to worry about than you drowning your cheerios in tequila.
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