It's a sad day when you realize you are no longer above fucking in movie theater bathrooms.
Just found 50 pesos and a coke spoon in my dads old shit. Gotta love the 70s
I brought my laptop into the bathroom so I can facebook while vomiting. New low?
dude she licked ball and has every Are you afraid of the dark episode on dvd
lock that shit down
I just got a facebook invite to join a group called "bring back the old franzia spout." i never want our generation to grow up.
I call it my summer of slut; except summer lasts from May until December. It's been incredibly successful
Snuck into a camper in someone's yard. Hotboxing. Can't wait until they go in it.
i don't care if its just a preseason game, my pick up a guy and suck him off in the bathroom skills are in midseason form
she tried to douche with champagne. in front of all of us. unabashedly.
You told us that you don't have to wait in line at Taco Bell. Then, drove up to the window and grabbed someone else's food.
I'm too stoned to come over for sex
Yes that is a Krispy Kreme doughnut on my cock
I'll be right over
So I almost just died there. And we need a new garage door.
So it was all good until she started grabbing my beard and telling me to "roar little lion"
I took my makeup off with mouthwash. Seemed like a good idea. It worked.
woke up to my little sister's best-friend's boyfriend in my bed, but how's your saturday going?
Randomize
