i'm only drinking out of pineapples from now on.
She knew it was going down when I had her search for "condoms" in my iPhone Maps.
NEWSFLASH - my freind is drunk and admitted that he hates having sex with dogs. should i help him or let him be??
He also left me a wonderful voice mail..... and is now asking me where the planters peanut guy is.
You should probably go find him.
so thats when we found her crawling hands and knees up first street singing hold me closer tony danza as loud as she could
did she say where she was going
apparently she thought she was on morton hill and was trying to go back to the bars
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I probably should have cut it off when he started putting queso on my nipples, but within ten minutes I was a self-serve burrito bar.
He said hes taking shrooms and watching jurassic park so we're making a t-rex costume
we need ur ladder
It's a lightpost hitting you in the head. Of course it's going to hurt the day after.
Bring the cards this coming weekend. If I'm not here I died skydiving Friday
It was weird. Like "Mom, Dad, here's a guy who knows my orgasm face".
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I am not even close to finishing violently masturbating over that video.
But he does seem to be getting proper humping etiquette down. So there's progress.
Are you still feeling it? I'm in the bathtub. The water doesn't work but it's okay because I'm wearing pants.
I just faked an orgasm while masturbating. Idk what exactly my problem is but I have one
Say what you want about my van, but I've got more action there than in my apartment. A body pillow and a joint still go a long way!
you missed a good time last night.
you texted me at 10 telling me to come fuck you, that says enough.
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