It's official. Every guy I've slept with has been to jail.
going to class early so i have time to go on the moonbounce. this is why i go to art school.
i thought i was the drunkest one there til some girl puked in the tip jar.
Dont worry about the blood on the pillow. its from my face.
21 Of The Most Regrettable Tattoo Ideas Ever
What type of outfit says "I know you slept with my boyfriend before and are also way skinnier than me, but I look better...somehow"
me neither. i remember bell pepper tequila but not why or yelling
Hahaha, I forgot about doing shots out of the bell pepper
There're making snowcones with the leftover vodka from last night. This is not the time to be making up excuses!
just got home. some guy on my porch is tryin to show me his balls. no more parties at my apartment.
ecstacy + fleshlight = not all that upset about being newly single anymore
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I don't think the best pickup line was. Hey I have never made a girl orgasm before but I'm sure it will work on someone like you.
I bet his dick wears a tuxedo.
When he was fat he reminded me of my high school best friend and I just wanted to hug him and hug him. Also, he's funny and humor is the fastest way into my pants after Doctor Who and liquor.
I lied. Can't workout today. Only exercises I'm currently capable of doing are breathing ones to keep last night's drinks ending up all over the classroom.
He was respectful of both me and my One Direction calendar.
I had to google some of the kinky sex shit she was telling me she was into.
If that is not a reason to propose to her then I don't know what is