So we made editble underwear with fruit roll ups and fruit by the foot
we made margaritas with slurpies from 7-11 and beer.
Do you think unemployment will give me a christmas bonus?
you were cooking a hot pocket with a grill lighter what did you want me to do
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Maybe its all the xanax she takes but she literally has NO shame
Everytime I am with a guy I hope his penis is as big as yours. It never is. Thanks for setting that bar.
The bartender gave me the kids toys. Paddle ball & a gecko.
My mom said she saw you at the bar last night and asked how you were. She said, you replied with, "Oh you know, just knocked up."
Figured I'd get right to the point
Jus saw ur date getting a bj in the mcdonalds parking lot...u want anything?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I seriously doubt I'm gonna be able to properly put your dick in my mouth whilst upside down, but I'm willing to give it my best shot
Why are friend nudes not more of a thing? My tits look awesome right now.
I just want to trace his tattoos with my tongue
the party picked up after I got pretty drunk...I got kicked in the fucking head by a tiny lesbian...she was 5'1" I did not think she could do it...i was very wrong
This is either going to be a hilarious catfish or the fuck trophy of the century.
None of what you just said was coherent
I just bought wine at a gas station what the hell do you expect
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