I told him I was pregnant. Figured it would soften the blow of telling him I had herpes.
Did it?
Not as such, no.
We had sex on the hood of my car and broke the windshield.
Accidentally hit on the same girl twice at the bar, she give me her number both times though so I think its cool.
all i remember is walking in on u shitting and crying listening to shawty get loose. its safe to say this break up has taken a toll on u
I feel as if we moved beyond the hook up stage when she blew me as I drunkenly finished my chicken nuggets.
i just came to a realization. Besides probably food, in my lifetime i think i have spent more money on legal fees than anything else
My only positive piece of news is that my roommate is moving home for the summer, so our stress-relief sex will be much easier to get away with.
Is it morally wrong to give today's hookup a Krispy Kreme from yesterday's hookup or is it just fat love?
He drunk texted me what I think is two snails fucking on a mushroom. Is "you sick bastard" too mild a rejection?
He told me was "pretty like the wife in some movie where the husband is a cheater." I think I'm gonna fuck him.
Her new crush is a 6'2" guacamole baron that may also be a Jedi.
you said "it's karaoke night" and tried to use my dick as a microphone
I didn't even know we were hiding from the cops, I was just playing with the cats. People kept telling me to be quiet the cops are here and I was like DID YOU SEE THIS CAT!?
I think I'm emotionally ready to start being a slut again. I'm excited.
I just typed "I've got a friend" and my phone autocompletes to "that's a dick appointment". What is my life.
Randomize
