WHY CAN'T YOU EVER SHIT LIKE A NORMAL PERSON, JESSE.
You're the end to all my bad dreams.
Did you have that reoccuring dream about me banging your mom again?
whoever created level 16 on brickbreaker is a dick
I looked at my arm when I woke up..I guess after 8 tally marks I said fuck it and wrote "too much"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just turned in a 4 page paper spelling absolute as "absolut" every single time. I'm an alcoholic
I just slow jerked to the titanic theme song, i dont think theres enough alcohol in the state to get me over her tonight
I took 20 bucks from you because when I woke up I saw more of you than I ever wanted to see bro.
Totally acceptable.
Good news. Hiccups are gone. Bad news. I had to set the bathroom rug on fire to get rid of them. Don't come home until the fire truck leaves.
I just heard my parents fuck. What. The. Fuck. My rooms right under theirs.. My dad barely even lasted a minute. Im almost ashamed..
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My head feels like a nest made of hair and cum
So your bra was hanging in the Christmas tree last night at some point I think
he shit on the floor last night i'm not venturing down there
I woke up this morning half naked, smelling like an ash tray, with an empty bottle of jack next to me, and now someone named Dora the anal explorer is texting me.
i need to stop establishing animals as safe words. Giraffe and Penguin are really awkward words to say during sex
I accidentally mass texted his dick pic. Not only to my friends, but to my dad as well...
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