Sometimes I find that I've been touching my boob(s) without even realizing it.
all she kept saying was "harder" "mayo" and "who are you"
she tossed me in the back of the car and said "god gave u the gift of life and I wanna swallow it"
Its only fair we share our golden vaginas with the world. It would be selfish if we didn't.
If I don't have carpet burn in the morning you aren't trying hard enough.
I just had cybersex with some guy from the Netherlands for 2 HOURS instead of doing my History project...how's your break going?
I'm just going to say , cocktail races are not for a Wednesday night maybe not even a Friday type of deal
My lecture teach is passed out next to me. I think I'm doing pretty good for a freshman.
I just stuck my fingers down her throat so she could puke. I mean what are friends for
Oh my god she just threw up on her dog
Just woke up with an eye that wont open, a half eaten piece of pizza on my chest and a raging boner.
So hungover. I'm getting too old for trolloping around in disco shorts going shot for shot with well behaved underclassmen in an effort to lure them to the dark side of alcoholism and liver failure.
I'm worried about your health. And your boobs. Actually, health, then boobs. Health first, boobs second. And third.
The stall at this bar had mirrors all around. I just looked at myself take a shit from like 3 different angles
Also while I’m drunk I saw your penis in like 4th grade when I walked past the boys bathroom
Andddddd I'm drunk
Andddddd it's Tuesday
That's your opinion.
Randomize
