listening to techno makes your hand move faster while masterbating
The best thing happened. Some guy was butchering Conway Twitty at karoke and the power went off in the whole bar. And someone shouted "you pissed jesus off when you messed with conway!"
we are driving next to a guy driving and masturbating while looking at a naked magazine. I love LA
The tent wall coming unstaked in the wind and hitting me in the face really sobered me up
I am intoxicated and cannot bring you a burrito. However, if you want to bring ME one...
I'm just gonna go nail your roommate after we break up anyway.
for future reference mormans are hard to crack but they give fucking amazing hand jobs.
that wasn't rum that I poured down your throat while you were sleeping
Whiskey and an unstable home life is apparently the fountain that 20-something boys like to drink from.
DC is easy, you will figure it out.
I'm drunk and blonde. You are wayyyy underestimating this.
You also hate cartoons and musicals, so I will take that to mean the movie was as awesome as I thought it was..smoke weed
Dude just bought the table 3 bottles of champaign and broke one on the floor as his "signature" and he makes me want this recession hit harder
I just want to be like i dont know you but ive seen your penis & i like it
You took motorboating me in public to a whole new level. You poured your beer down my top and LAPPED IT UP.
Elliott peed on my floor and slept in it lol that's a one line description.
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