I just puked in an auto zone parking lot. I'm never eating peanut butter and red wine for dinner again.
I want you more than these girls want KFC
a drug dealer just gave me his business card. it had his face on it drinking a 40oz
Dude I think I vomited on the wireless internet box too...it isnt working.
Turned out not to be so bad. He had a big dick and i owed him for all the free beer over the year.
First thing on my "to do" list- get sober for community service.
I'll pay you to write the paper but not for sex. You should only get paid for something you work hard at.
Your argument isn't valid... just because I test the waters doesn't make me gay. Makes me versatile. And who doesn't love that!
So maybe I got drunk and hooked up with him in a hot tub? I mean that's nothing to be ashamed of, that kind of takes talent. I'd drown.
I bet Billy Ray Cyrus wishes he had pulled out now....
I have a terrible feeling that I made out with a fraternity last night
I'm pathetic. I'm eating cream puffs in the bath and crying a little.
Wake up. Eat bread. Find your dignity. Don't be late for work again.
That's why we have robots to masturbate for us
Just got back from a Walmart run. The music went straight from Kid Rock to John Phillip Souza. If that doesn't scream 'MURICA I don't know what will. Happy 4th!
Randomize
