I wish i could make my toaster dance like they do in the second ghostbusters. But i dont have ectoplasmic goo. Or a toaster.
Just wondering why in an apartment full of stoners there is half a waffle in the TRASH CAN. get ur shit together man
entire chemistry final was about beer... i actually might miss this place
I forget the details, but I'm told that I drunkenly stalked him around floor yelling obscure Jewish laws at him
Excused from finishing the term project because my lab partner got arrested. For the second year in a row. Public school, I love you.
had to split buying plan b over two cards. I will no longer challenge people to get on my level
I'm going to make an art book filled with pics of me peeing in every bar bathroom I've ever been in. Dedicating it to you. You're welcome.
You haven't had the true md experience until you've had your crotch grabbed by a drunk stripper with a snaggle tooth in front of your coworkers.
No, I don't just love you because you have big boobs. I just wouldn't visit as often.
I tried...failed..now im naked on the futon since clothes are hard.
He ate me out in the forest at that park we used to hit my bong in highschool again, somehow this isn't what I pictured being 25 would be like
Ok, it's starting to sound like someone's out there trying to learn to play the trombone while breaking kitchenware.
Pretty sure the shower sex fucked up my hip alignment... im walking like im 104 today
Mark my words I will never date another cop again. I don't care if he's JESUS.
He described his sex dream about me using only emojis
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