so...he totally just used scissors to cut up the weed. a wet paper towel to moisten the blunt....and a blow dryer so it wouldn't be wet. this dude either has the worst case of OCD or has the potential to be the next martha stewart.
2am update: i think I'm in Mexico but I found a dennys. Everyone but this cute family of 4 is speaking Spanish. Cute family of 4 is helping me out.
we made out inside of a kiddie slide for about 20 mins. it was the sexiest, most suffocating experience I've ever had
do not give him the "i just had sex cake" i repeat DO NOT give him the cake. things didn't go well
Have you ever had one of those moments when you kept whispering to yourself "I'm not a slut, I'm not a slut..."?
why does he always try to puke into shot glasses
...i'd have to set their sheets on fire.
I told her the job opening requires being on the phone during the week and on my face on the weekends. I think she wants the job.
Like if a baby's bottom had nipples, that's how my boobs feel
You passed out with your mouth on the faucet, straddling the keg, with your arms wrapped around it
That works. I won't care. I'll be a mermaid. Mermaids don't give a fuck.
Especially drunk mermaids.
Excuse me, but I got friendzoned and all I could think about was the fact that I didn't have my underwear back on yet.
So... crashing at the hot bartender's place is not a solid marital decision.
Whatever. That's why I am to be babied like a calf. I regret nothing.
I WILL go to space. And if we find aliens I WILL fuck one. It’s the Marine Corps way
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