But regardless, you really stood out last night, you should give me a chance
Sorry but you seem like a potential womanizer
youll never guess who i didnt fuck at that party
after everytime she pucked, she insisted on us all giving her high fives
he said he "kind of had sex before.. Barely" i think it was one of those situations where you slide into home and get tagged out.
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Maybe you should go over there and lead him on and reach down his pants like he's about to get some and yank his balls.
That's the best idea I've heard all day.
his genitalia just looks like a thumbs up. a really really small thumbs up.
We didn't need to cut her off. I'm pretty sure the lit candle she almost drank would have done it for us
Do you remember unrolling paper towels as a blanket?
Just saw the guy with the plastic bag on his head riding his bike again...
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and then we all passionately sang "what if god was one of us" until everyone passed out in the grass
Lost my virginity dressed as catwoman. He was dressed as batman. Glad I waited.
I just handed a girl a slice of pizza and she handed me her number. Is this how Vegas hookups normally begin?
Let's never forget the time I met you while you were running down the street naked and in handcuffs.
I should probably apologize for licking you last night since you drove me home, but I stand by my decision
I don't know how I managed to chip the inside of my tooth w/ a turkey and cheeto sandwich, but I think that's what happened.
I'm sorry, a turkey and WHAT sandwich?!?!
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