He belongs with you like a mcdonalds playground belongs in Chernobyl
Living right is spending a lot of time in someone's ass
Grown men dancing to Spice Girls and a girl wearing one shoe. I belong here
The investigator asked if we were sharing a pitcher of margaritas. I corrected him and explained that we each had our own.
I hear youre working today. To keep you entertained, ive compiled a list of condiments that my dick has NOT been slathered in since last Friday: Relish, and raspberry jam. That's right.
Are we playing "how much awkwardness can we fit in the final 29 hours of 2011"?
yes yes we are. Go do something with super glue. i don't want to win.
Dude you ate toast sprawled out on my kitchen floor and said "this is comfy". No more day drinking.
The 78 year old woman who works next to me divorced her ex husband, remarried her first husband, and retired all in one day. I'd say it makes your breakup on Valentine's day pretty insignificant.
Walking around as slutty Ron Swanson is amazing
Well according to all the calls, texts, and Facebook messages, I threw up on you guys last night.
sigh, if only his dick was as big as his mouth
Throwing up into Nora's potty chair while simultaneously having beer shits was truly the highlight of my Christmas season.
I'm really tired of this guy walking his chicken in my neighborhood.
I don't see why I have to pay for it.
your head went through the window, you're pretty much obligated to pay for it.
Long story short wrist restraints, Apple Watch and cumming all don’t mix
Randomize
