i miss you and i wish you were peeing between my legs right now. in a platonic way
i have the juiciest gold medal in my pants
You wouldn't stop crying and screaming Hilary Duff doesn't deserve Gossip Girl
I miss seeing your mom and dad at church, well mostly just your mom... She used to hug my face into her boobs.
That still doesn't explain why you thought it was a good idea to paint a cow on my guitar
I could feel myself puking on my feet but it was so warm i didnt even care.
You are the only person I know that goes to a bar enough to charge your iPhone there....
Apparently blowing a .28 for a cop and then kissing her on the mouth is technically assaulting a police officer. Who knew.
Come on Nikki god gave you a vagina for a reason, so you could tell guys what kind of shots to buy you
Driving by his house every hour is not stalking, it's a reconnaissance mission... How else can I confront him
Who suggested the eggnog wet t-shirt contest last night like whose idea was that
Speaking
We literally solved our fight using cat pictures on Instagram. True love.
I stepped in puke last night then washed it off my shoe with beer. Is there a grace period to respect before wearing them to class?
Ick. That's not even the fun kind of punishment.
I am not even ashamed to say it, I got laid in the stairwell of the hotel, by a 29 year old. It was awesome!
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