He probably put up nude pics. He seems like that kind of guy.
you're dressed like that and you're on the rag, that's false advertisment
biggest mistake ever: halloween 2009
my mom hid the smirnoff from me. this is the most fucked up game of hide and seek EVER
i mean, we fucked on the futon in the garage where his band practices. pretty sure im now obligated to like his band on facebook.
I'm going to write a letter. It's going to say, Dear Every Girl Ever: Take some goddam initiative and wake me up with a blowjob and I will eat out of your hand. Love, Every Guy Ever
Omg just remembered. I tried to kidnap a dog.
I dislocated my rib eating pizza. I think I am broken.
Ummm so does anybody remember me stopping to get my ear peirced last night and make an earring out of a staple? Or did I just somehow lay on this thing and ram it through my ear?
how did operation slutty penguin go?
pretty epic. there was a guy who was also dressed as a penguin. i asked him if he would keep my eggs warm while i went fishing for the winter
Partying with them is like having your dick stapled to your left nostril
If you hear a sad honk in the wind it is me.
Yeah, I only wore tennis shoes under the gown. Way cooler than khakis and a shirt, but much more awkward when my parents wanted to go to dinner immediately after the ceremony and my grandmother started to unzip the gown. Stopped her before it was too late, but barely. My dad just rolled his eyes.
I drank beer out of some sort of animal horn all night, then we fucked to a "viking metal" album. I feel like I should go pillage something to complete the Norse trifecta.
Okay first of all fuck you and everything you stand for because Taco Bell is amazing.
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