I guess so. I don't really give a fuck. I think I'm going to jerk off really loudly tonight just to keep them on their toes
I need to take "lollipop" off of every single one of my playlists cause it makes me wanna suck dick.
Cure to hiccups..road head..high five
So i banged this chick from Peru last night. Needless to say, I'm having chipotle for lunch todayas a south American reward to honor her.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You didn't have enough money so you tried to convince the cashier that "four dollar foot long" rolled off the tongue better. Stop drinking. Immediately.
One last question would your parents let me sleep in your bathtub for the night?
He screamed "Hug me!" and dove into the bushes. How he gets laid every weekend is beyond me.
You were pouring Patron into the window of the squad car trying to get the police dog to drink it
So thats why that cop beat my ass?
Probably
He sat next to me, put his arm around me, yelled at his girlfriend that he was breaking up with her, and told me I'm his little pet for the night.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well, she yelled at the stripper that she couldn't lick whipped cream off his nipples because she is lactose intolerant.
My relationship: I'm wearing batman panties and a tiara right now trying to get laid and he's doing dishes.
I'm at the store buying a new phone cause I pissed all over mine last night. Drunk me is expensive as shit.
Can you face time me. I need to know if this pill is xanex or ecstasy
Good morning 7am walk of shame. It's been awhile.
OMG LOOK AT THAT PIECE OF MAN
I haven’t trained for this.
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