Just got yelled at by a priest...again.
Well how sick are u. Ive got a good immune system.
I just crawled out of a second story window using a sheet and his clothes for a rope so he wouldn't wake up.
I am so glad I watched Macgyver as a kid.
Now that I'm the boss, there's nobody to yell at me for smelling like a bar in the morning.
I love you. And by the way. I found out a way for you to train your gag reflex. Elliot taught us in math.
I just took the cheapest shot in your honor
But for real, I had the best sex of my life on that bunk bed
Is selling savings bonds for acid money something a normal person does?
You was so high that you insisted that you heard someone whistle, then you insisted they was trapped in the wall!
just reached the point where my breast implants paid from themselves in free drinks.
Good friends go out of their way to crop dust your ex not once but twice. I knew we were friends for a reason
Would it be weird if i sent him a "happy fuckiversary" text?
some guy had a sword and everyones crying..it turned bad..fast.
Should I wish him a happy birthday?
Well he has been inside of you enough times that you probably should.
wheres my face? and why is my pocket so big?
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