pretty sure I just motor boated my professor at the drag show
There's a girl in front of me with a see through white shirt on and her back says I suck bad dick. Fun night hun?
Want updates from david's night out drinking? If so text back DAVID to this number. Std rates apply.
we saw a llama on the side of the road. That's when we knew everything was going to be alright.
Oh god. There is a bite mark in the bar of soap. Please tell me I was not that wasted.
Level of drunkenness: just now when I sat down on the toilet, I had to double check to make sure I wasn't sitting on somebody's lap.
In between when I last wrote and now have screwed a Swiss guy on a hostel bathroom floor. Okay, real life?
We're about to go to a party titled 'Night of 1000 Jello Shots".
He just sent me a picture of himself naked while cooking pancakes and he made the caption "bitchin' in the kitchen"
He says he invented a new sex move called The Redbird that we can only do when I'm on my period. Should I be concerned?
He stood me up.
I'm no sure if I should be pissed or proud that he finally grew a backbone.
I'm beginning to think that women just have dogs at home as an excuse to leave ASAP after hooking up, without sounding like a typical guy.
Maybe? I'm not shaving my pubes for a maybe type of night.
last night you made out with a 19 year old on a bar and i woke up with a swede in my bed. lets just say that never happened.
Just letting you know that while you peed your pants in that guys jeep, The orgasm I had made my hair fall out... Good morning.
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