Awkward is getting caught beating off in the company bathroom...
I'm pretty sure his head is too big to fit between my legs. Worthless.
a very overweight girl in the ER just said she trippped over the invisible wii jump rope and fell
Ps what kind of horrible ppl are we that we both checked blackberries during sex and neither minded?
i sneezed during and he said it felt like i gave birth to his dick...then asked me to do it again.
I'm surrounded by too many unhungover people.
I was cut off by 8, I need to rethink this breakup therapy strategy
Well I found you sipping ron diaz out of a child's dinosaur cup while sticking your fingers in the guy's fish tank and watching the "pirahnas" snap at your finger and laughing
When did we convert life to cartoon?
This juggling 3 dicks is getting exhausting
I deleted my history right in front of my girlfriend w/out her seeing. Let's go skydiving with no parachutes. I can live thru anything.
There's no winning that game with me. It's either "Can I walk home at the end of the night," or "am I throwing up trying to sleep in the front yard." Rules are irrelevant.
just so you know.. snorkeling hungover: great decision. I was throwing up and he couldn't even tell!
We have GOT to stop getting stoned and going out for expensive dinners.
I hope every time you eat hashbrowns you think about me, the awesome sex we had and how great we could have been.
Randomize
