one two three fourrrrnication!
Yeh xou jao i ama wa7tdud !!
Oh my god. its not even twelve thirty and you are useless.
Alex texted me. Bootycall boy #2. its like an alarm goes off once i'm single that the line is open again
highlight of my day: just saw a crying girl get dropped off at home wearing only socks, booty shorts, and a dirty wifebeeter. I wonder what happened to the costume...
i wish there was a 'silent except for booty calls' volume level on my phone
after last nights cooking expirments i have lost all faith in the fire alarm battery
At the hospital, the nurse kept telling me that i either had appendicitis, a tubular pregnancy, or an ovarian cyst. I kept asking if i could just have chlamydia instead...
I don't know who the girl crying at my kitchen table eating gravy from the KFC container is, but I feel like she could be my soulmate
Got him to take a shot from the drip pan on the George Forman. He's gone now.
I find it worrying that she bit me in bed. Then proceeded to write her name in bite marks. All without ever losing the rhythm of our fucking.
Quick question: how do I take a nice picture of my ass? I'm asking you because I figure with an ass like yours you're probably experienced.
It was fine until they started lighting shots of everclear on fire and making ME take them. That's when shit went down...
I woke up to find a bottle of Bacardi in my shower rack. How was your night?
I WANT BLOOD. HERS. I WILL DYE A FABULOUS PAIR OF SUEDE PUMPS RED WITH HER BLOOD.
I'm killing it this week, I've peed my pants and put my vibrator into the washing machine.
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