Ducking stuck downtown...all the fuxkig roads are blixkded
it was beautiful and magic like when a hot girl grabs her own tits and smiles at you
why the FUCK would i wear makeup on my vagina!?
I puked for half an hour, but I went and danced afterwards, and that made me feel better.
You are so irish.
after eating me out, he asked for something to drink. i gave him a glass of water and he said he needed something stronger.
please dont pick me up from the airport dressed like a terrorist.
Saw an eatery called Rusty Taco. That sooo could be me.
a girl just walked by me crying on the phone saying, "all I ever do is menstruate"
i want to swaddle you in tequila
I asked her why she named her vibrator Lorenzo and said it was the name she started screaming her first time.
I just shaved my "bikini area" into a fucking pizza slice
Do it break your family into faction start a civil war
THIS FUCKNUGGET
DOES HE EVEN REALIZE HOW MANY INCREDIBLE INSULTS I'VE WASTED ON HIM
I'VE INSULTED THE EVERLOVING SHIT OUT OF HIM AND HE CAN'T EVEN APPRECIATE IT
THE HO
You could cut the tension with my nipples.
true. but still. you know how big of a sucker i am for a penis and a pretty face.
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