you know he's having a sex change. I can't believe you called him "titty man" to his face....
I need some transition time from spring break.. can we day drink between classes this week?
Manscaping on you would be like trying to clean up the oil spill with a dixie cup.
i just drank the rest of the vodka . Btw why did we put candy corn in it?
DC is easy, you will figure it out.
I'm drunk and blonde. You are wayyyy underestimating this.
Fucked her on the patio while some dude drove by on a mower. He waved. Twice.
What are your thoughts toward getting nasty in a minivan?
It also means I'm watching porn with mario earphones so i can hear. Possibly the best way to mastrabate EVER
returning from a 6am booty call in 2 feet of snow on a Tuesday is a bold new kind of low for me
I need to wash the frat house off of me
Good god, my descendants are going to be fucked.
Our relationship is perfect
90% threatening to punch him in the dick 10% actual dickpunching
Come over. We have half a bottle of jumbo champagne left and no boyfriends to slow us down
Your vagina must be outstanding or have a secret entrance to Narnia if someone is will to fly from Texas for one night of it.
Can you cover for me after lunch? I’ve never seen a guy who cums as much as my new Side Dick so now I need to clean the house before my husband gets home
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