My husband just tried to seduce me by saying we can do it doggystyle so you can watch tv
Small Doughy Asian men and sleeveless hoodies with nothing underneath do not mix well.
Sounds like the climatic scene of my favorite erotic novel.
did it hurt when the cum got in your eye
not so much hurt, more like a stinging sinsation like mouthwash
I'm going to write a book about John. It's going to be called big dreams, little dick
It's like a mixture of two words
"town" and "Im too drunk to spell right now"
We just leapfrogged all the way to the bar.
It doesn't matter how many times you look in your purse, Your keys are not going to be there. Maybe you left them at the bar.
Maybe they fell out of my pocket last night when I rolled down the hill.
how did operation slutty penguin go?
pretty epic. there was a guy who was also dressed as a penguin. i asked him if he would keep my eggs warm while i went fishing for the winter
I let a drunk, gay man in a dragon costume motor-boat me. With his dragon head.
Come back I feel like I ticking time bomb of
of drugs
Well yeah. Plus. My dick looks awful. So I would need to do some extreme makeover dick edition before even starting something so ridiculous.
He was awesome with her today. I can't say that it didn't make my Fallopian tubes sing "The Hills Are Alive."
They cut me off when I tried to pee in the corner of the bar.
ya I went to the grocery store literally just for cheese and condoms
Rich men love me! I remind them of their trophy wife!!!
Randomize
