Tim hortons said i dont meet their criteria. What the fuck criteria is that? You put bagels in an oven.
Is it just me, or does Colt McCoy look like Herbie the Dentist from "Rudolph the Red-nosed Reindeer"?
I only broke up with her because the ex sex is amazing. She will do ANYTHING if i even hint at getting back together
hey remember that 14 year old i met 5 years ago who i said i would bang 5 years from then?
Yup.
I'm going to join a nudist colony to win $1000. There are no down-sides to this.
She said "I've been waiting to suck your cock since high school." I'm so glad so many freshmen are from our school.
I need a "closed for the season, thanks for a great summer" sign for my vagina
He's such a champ. He puked on purpose just so he'd be coherent enough to roll this blunt
Can you think of a sexual word rhyming with snorkel?
so getting blacked out last night has made my lips so beautifully red for pictures today... and they say nothing good comes from alcohol
You don't know how skeptical I was about letting a guy with braces go down on me
Can finally say I won't be lonely this Valentine's day! Mother nature decided to drop by.
TJ is going to paint me in a Patriots Jersey he can paint you in an eagle jersey. Did this last year and got so much dick.
At least they took the pillow of my bed before they had sex. My friends are so polite.
He weighed maybe 130, his dick had to be 30 of it. SO BIIIIG.
Randomize
