508, what difference does it make? You were alone, anyway.
She's not depressed. She's just sober. It's like the same thing.
We need to talk about our relationship.
I just won a bet involving 10 tequila shots. You've got about 3 minutes
may have given a homeless man 70 dollars in exchange for his sandals. so yea, i'm going as jesus for next halloween.
I woke up alone at my apt. On the floor with the door wide open, but still. Success.
Circumcision scars are like fingerprints. I think I'm on to something man.
Selling drugs in raindeer antlers is the best way to spread christmas cheer
I just tripped out to the Angel of Music from Phantom of the Opera in my car. Wayyyy to high for shuffle right now.
Really? And is this the kinda party we talked about earlier?
Yup. It's just me crying in a closet eating soup
I gotta shower this stuff off me I'm starting to hear baby kittens in the toilet tank again..
Hey, if I can't get it and you're still alive, can you get the glass out of my foot? Happy Sunday.
Hardest I think I've ever had to work for a shack. Whatevs. Still gonna get my way though. I'll start respecting myself on Monday
And here I thought that was one nut sack too many
Tell me not to drink and get on ladders. I think I need the reminder.. I'm clumsy enough sober.
I mean there are real risks associated with having unprotected sex, but I don’t think I need to worry about a ghost possessing me and having unprotected sex while using my body
Randomize
