I gave her the chance to be interesting and she failed. So then I gave her a chance to be slutty and she failed at that too.
the "happy anniversary" cake for my mom and dad is about to turn into the "yeah, that's a hickey, welcome back from italy" cake.
Well the light went out so I was throwing up by candle light. Strange moment in my life.
girl is pretty boring. i'm gonna see if she'll let me finger her.
I don't think I can handle being a slut. There is a lot more emotional stress that I never realized.
Come back. She's looking through naked pics of his exes on his phone and questioning him about them and I'm too drunk to walk away.
Yes I hit her with my car. Yes I gave her a ride home. And yes she gave me her number. What's the problem?
She wouldn't put out on the first date. I think my boner put a hole in my mattress.
The chick got into the cab with us and said we have 3 chances to guess what she just stuck up her ass. Hello to you to!
How do I respond to this?! It's not easy to say "you're hot & the sex was good, but outside the bedroom you scare me"
Whether ya want it or not, it's gonna happen. Assimilate to the gay
I just want to eat Taco Bell and throw it up on his doorstep.
He was stoned laying on my bed singing I'm a little tea cup while I took a pregnancy test. Thank god it was negative.
no we just smoked too much weed and listened to the tarzan soundtrack. phil collins is amazing
Somehow reaching for the flaming hot cheetos ended up in the best sex of my life
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