I tried to give up sex for lent. It feels weird that on easter I'm this excited to be a whore again
smell like capt'n and strawberry champagne
so he tried to quietly tell me my Tampon String was hanging out in front of his family but i didn't hear him so he yelled it
I hate how you keep a running list of people who have seen me naked.
I think i'm just gonna start shot-gunning everything that comes in can form.
Lesbians. Lesbians everywhere.
Mega depressed bro. Had the greatest sex with the hottest girl I've ever seen and in the AM she gave me that look I've given dozens of times. I'm her drunken fat chick fuck
It's isn't revenge sex until you've cum on her porcelain doll collection.
Also, am I the only one who noticed he didn't fuck you until after you were technically a cripple? Or am I reading into this too much? Congrats on that btw
I plan to get very, very drunk when I get off work.
But doesn't your shift end at like noon?
I don't think you understand.
I can not believe he edited a picture of our three way and made it his profile picture
While he was at a job interview yesterday, I was dropping acid. So that's the aesthetic of our relationship rn.
I would like to reiterate that I went to give lessons and ended up having a three way instead
OMG LOOK AT THAT PIECE OF MAN
I haven’t trained for this.
Last time we had sex i was dressed like a ninja turtle and someone else was in our bed, so this time should be fine.
I hope ur kiddin
wish i was
Randomize
