Why does lindsey know I was naked in the kitchen?
i asked him how he could stand the smell of skunk. his answer was "it smells like good weed"...
You said that we had to leave the party together and proceeded to repeat the "ducks fly together" speech from The Mighty Ducks word for word. Soon the whole party was quite and started chanting quack..quack...quack..
well, I suppose if I had to pick a penis to represent the american public, yours would be it
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In the middle of fucking me, she said "Hold on, I need my Hulk hands."
We've already decided our costumes for next Halloween. She's going as Cookie Monster and I'm going as Elmo. She's just going to ask for Oatmeal Cookie shots, and I'm asking for Red-Headed Slut shots.
Dude, its January.
We're going to do the voices too.
we were walking and you spelled the word "oats" to prove you weren't drunk.
My mind hurts. I feel like I drank sand yesterday.
I don't understand how she could dump me AFTER we had shower sex. I'm fucking great at shower sex
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I woke up to a head of lettuce on my nightstand, someones Honda abandoned in my yard, the cat partially shaved, and a empty bottle of sailor hanging by a scarf from the rafters. Oh, and 26 people apparently came though and rubbed my back in the process of the night. Happy 23rd to me!
So I walk in and he's teaching someone in London via Skype how to roll a blunt. I have new found respect for him.
If you've never been partying there before, take Shae with you. Drunk Shae is like a GPS. She found us the only bottle shop still open at four, a pot dealer, and told us all which subway to take to get home. She'd never been to Madrid before. It was awesome.
I started singing I believe I can fly in the shower and it was like the first stage of insanity
I met her parents last night. Her dad smelled like weed and kept yelling "I HAVE ALLERGIES AHHH MY EYES ARE BURNING!" During dinner It had to be good weed he didn't even know he was yelling.
My butthole probably tastes like a Cinnabon right now
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