I think I have a pornographic memory.
Don't you mean photographic?
No.
The answer to your question is yes. I am wearing a star of david to the bar in order attract a jewish man.
Went to the career fair today..I handed out many resumes to find out later that they say I have a bachelor o farts degree...Top that.
Waiting outside the STD clinic 30 min before it opens already in a line up. It's like were all waiting for a concert that no ones really pumped for
Really? How much of his life do you think he remembers? I'm pretty sure 75% of it qualifies as "kind of a blur".
I've woke up in his bed 4 out of the past 6 mornings. I feel like this might be the time to learn more about him then his first name and what kind of beer he drinks.
his name is devion and he has a voice like velvet and handcuffs
I think Facebook knows you fucked me. All of a sudden I get everything you do in my news feed.
What's protocol when the 18 year old son of an anti-gay preacher sends you a message on Grindr during church?
im mad at you for telling me he ejaculated during "let it go." Thanks for ruining the song forever.
It's 9:07 in the morning and I am so hungover right now I'm about to take the kids I'm babysitting to mf'ing Popeyes bc that's all I want in this world
She was doing drunken zumba and screaming "FUCK YOU I HAVE MY OWN STYLE!" at the TV
I'm sorry for chipping my tooth on your vagina last night :(
spent the night holding naked strippers up for keg stands and doing endless amounts of body shots. good game 8am final exam.
whats an extra semester when you've already been in college for 6 years?
While finding our clothes afterwards he says..."So do we like have to talk after this?"
Randomize
