His moose knuckle keeps winkin at me
Rub youre cunt and tell me you love me.
Your incorrect use of you're doesn't arouse me in the slightest.
i cant do it anymore.. every time this girl orgasms she sounds like a motorcycle
Do you remember calling yourself Captain Cockblock and openly giving out everyones sexual history? Because you did.
all i care about is the story behind my toaster ending up in the microwave
Fourth time I had to be woken up in the line of Whataburger in two weeks. First time my shirt was free of vomit.
He had a curved dick....must be a european thing
So it's always a good weekend when you don't get any sleep, try opening a bottle of wine on rocks, and end up needing a tetanus booster for our stupidity... Same thing next weekend?
Some daaay... Bet your bottom dollar that some daaay you'll do that mollyyyy
No it's ok I've been talking to the girl at the Chinese restaurant about your dick for the last 20 minutes. I haven't mentioned your name but she thinks she knows you.
I lost my bar virginty and made out with a dwarf. It was a good night
i want to platonically make out with them, platonically. in the back of this minivan
Well I've decided to refuse to conform to society and be naked the rest of the day.
I just told my bowl "sorry" for putting it down, because I thought I hurt its feelings. omg. I'm high.
Her hot older sister walked in on us, looked me up and down, then stared straight at her and said "I call sloppy seconds on this one" then left. I'm still debating on how I feel about that.
Randomize
