I think I just was a dick to Paul Rudd.
how many princess gummy vitamins will it take to negate last nights drinking binge?
Why am I drunk on a roof painting at 11 in the morning
That's the last time you suggest we can get our tab wiped by out-drinking the bartender.
It was my card, so what do you care that you lost?
Is your card paying for my plan b?
he spent an hour trying to convince us that Ted Nugent is Kid Rock from the future. by the end of it i was very close to believing him.
On a lighter note, my mom and I were playing scattergories, and for "things that you keep hidden" we both put dildo. Proof that we really are related.
They have a stripper pole on their deck. Normal.
I figure that my generation of my family needs an alcoholic. I'll take that burden.
The night is not complete until I am drnk and speaking to inanimate objects
Why do I have a wristband from the birthing center at the University of Maryland hospital....
Well, I got fired yesterday. At least I already paid for my Adele tickets.
Was it cause you feel bad for the ridiculousness my vagina goes through because same
wow bdsm is so cute
dude kate found out i cheated and busted in while i was taking a shit. I was cornered, nothing i could do
so drinking tonight?
Be there in 15
look im sitting on my bathroom floor in my underwear snorting cocaine can we talk about this later
Randomize
