She was so happy she found her sunglasses, that she blew me. Im now randomly hiding things of hers in hopes she'll find them and I'll get a repeat performance.
Ive been tazing him too get him immuned. He will be unstopable.
So I guess I passed out face first on the ground while trying to grill last night
Well, that's a 3 inch weight lifted off of my vagina
Were taking his cast off tonite. Need a saw and a gameplan. Meet us at rosies in 30.
Where the hell is he. I called him crying for weed and sex you would think that would signal some urgency.
Is it sad that i just saw my moms thumb on the table & i instinctively put mine down cuz i thought she was thumbmaster?
It's my vagina- remember its magical and yes I just did mini spirit fingers
I gave you a piece of bread to sober you up. You wiped your face off with it and then gave it back to me.
So I walked in on her and she had taped her fingers together and was crying and was whispering something about "how humbling it is being in constant glove mode"
Did you miss the part about my hangover needing a day to rest?
I don't think you understand. I woke up under the car. At 3 am. In the club parking lot.
what's your room number? I've never been there sober...
Bruh. He just said the words "cyber sex"-is it 1999?
she brought her phone charger to the bar this bitch is ready to drink
Randomize
