My cock was attacked by outdoor plants
It's like she bought one bad life decision and got one free
Ok so the guy below me is either having sex very loudly or is very lonely
period poops. best. ever.
omigod im sitting here with ben and he and i both got that...chick you totally just mass texted that...
Drunken horseback riding is the absolute worst decision i've ever made in my life.
sometimes you just have to pull up your panties, blow a kiss to the security camera and walk out of the alley like nothing happened.
The night took a downhill turn when he started using a butter knife as a spoon to drink his cosmo
drinking vodka, listening 2 smh at 530am slow cooking beef stew. you'll enjoy the stew and worry abt me in the morning. bon apatite
I think I might get 604 tattooed on my ass tonight...
wanna come over? I have movies.
sure, what movies
porn or disney, your choice
I just put bronzer on my abs to snapchat nudes. If that's not going hard I don't know what is
For a girl who cried from fear the last time she was asked out, this. Is. TERRIFYING!
He asked when the last time I had sex was. I had to look at the clock and respond "12 hours ago"
can you tell me why i woke up in a diaper and combat boots?
I remember that. We went to taco bell looking for pizza.
Randomize
