You realize it's finals week?
Ya that's the school's fault. St. Patrick's day came first.
He legit pounded my cooking wine, because he was to cheap to buy beer. He is so not getting any.
Ok just don't go to jail. I saw your account balance. It can't take that.
My head. My head is the problem. Also alcoholism.
We should invent fake asshair for you to wear so you can experience my pain for a day.
Queso dip and pictures of Daniel's penis. It's like the last days of Rome over here.
He was rocking just a diaper, shoes, and a gun. Sadly, I would still hit it.
Seeing your boyfriend, side piece, and great white buffalo, all in one night? Its a sign right?
Proceed with caution.
The fact that I am laying in bed on my stomach with an ice pack on my rump is a clear indication that I am no longer in my carefree 20s
I am googling "notable people who had syphilis"
Let's put it this way. Mom is bringing me a new shirt and I smell like lube.
Sooo I ended up ugly crying at the drive thru window at 10 pm last night....how was your valentine's day?
Well what did you order
I'm not in the business of asking people about their lizard
I meant his actual lizard not his manhood
Just puked in front of a high school tour group. Based on the standing ovation, we have a solid group of freshman coming in this fall.
I'm in the upstairs bathroom. I went to the bathroom after class and realized this is not a shit I want to have publicly. I ran home. We can go to lunch, just give me a min
Randomize
