She went from zero to smokin in five shots
i think the fact that he graduated high school the year i graduated elementary school is sexy.
you're like the Neil Armstrong of terrible hookups, you are a pioneer
his mom walked in, looked at me, sighed n nsaid 'when are u gonna learn' n walked out
You can't have your penis and eat it, too.
Apparently she came home completely covered in mud, pretending to be a bird...and she still had more sex than any of us this weekend.
Somewhere between yelling how am I gonna make it to my flight and more titie shots I stopped caring
Just realized i left my bra at his house. WHY do i suck at one night stands?!
Note to self...boner negates all verbal agreements ...got it
Just put me in your contacts as coyote
These last 48 hours have just been about deleting my most recent snap story
I walked in on him pumping himself up by headbanging to the drumbeat from Jumanji.
Do exhausted, barely concealed hand jobs count as joining the mile high club?
u better not lose ur virginity to a sugar daddy who doesn’t post a pic of himself to tinder
Can you please come in my room and pour water in my mouth? Too hungover to move. btw who is this guy in my bed? Can't see his face. Cute?
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