Do you have any cake mix? I kind of need to make a "im sorry i drank all your parents tequila, threw up all over your floor and slept with you boyfriend" cake.
so stoned i ashed in my jack and coke like 4 times. drinking it anyway
yeah, but i heard shes schizophrenic
i wouldn't even care dude, i'd fuck her and all 7 of her personalities.
Does she know that uploading nude photos to photobucket and networking are two different things? You may want to ask.
My ex best friend's ex fuck buddy is visiting. There was no other option but day drinking.
Why does She think it's her duty to welcome in freshman through the welcome mat that is her vagina
I just yelled at a bunch of girl scouts for yelling "cookies" to loudly. That hungover
You get drunk and try to bury your girlfriend in the sand JUST ONCE and all hell breaks loose
My boss walked in on me puking in the urinal while taking a piss. Sunday funday is eroding my last shred of credibility at work.
just gonna show up naked this time. that way i dont have to worry about finding my clothes tomorrow
found a better reason to procrastinate than the usual sunday-don't-give-no-fucks. literally every one of my textbooks is soaked in captain. can't turn a page without gagging.
I'm in my bed. Snow angles in fresh sheets. don't even try to get me out tonight.
It's very finicky. Like baking. or BDSM.
He woke up and decided to go for a swim in the lake... At about 3am... With his dogs
fucked one of the teachers, librarian job's going great
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