So I pulled my t-shirt down, pushed my boobs up and marched right into that church!
is it bad that the economy has gotten so bad that finding cheap gas gives me the same excitement and joy as finding a hot, blonde haired, blue eyed, tall, athletic single straight guy?
Penelope Cruz needs to learn American words.
the next morning i told him i was impressed that he remembered my name. he said it wasn't that hard when "tracy
worst lay ever....
as long as you cum, there is no bad sex
ya... thank god for condoms, I was able to fake it... I stand by my original statement
Do you think the party boat will still go out if there is a hurricane?
Are you in a cab?
I'm close- can you order me a bowl of vodka?
everyone at work keeps looking at me like they know I got the herp this weekend
The only reason we got away with streaking last time was cuz we had those miner hats
THIS NIGHT WILL NOT GO DICKLESS
I threw up on my way to work while listening to "the good times are killing me". this award goes to modest mouse for creating the most poetic puke ever
I need to stop drinking alone, I wrote a love letter to my tattoos
Due to your tardiness, I'm saving you my tab
He started going down on me while we were watching Land Before Time.
Incredible.
Sorry about the flaming shit on your door
I never thought I'd be in my late 20s and send that text
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